Just like Archie

Just like Archie

The passenger climbs into the taxi and the cabbie says: ‘Perfect timing. You’re just like Archie.’

Passenger: ‘Who?’

Cabbie: ‘Archie Hobday. Now there’s a bloke who did everything right. Like my coming along exactly when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Archie every single time.’

Passenger: ‘There are always a few clouds over everybody. Surely he wasn’t perfect?’

Cabbie: ‘Archie was. He was a terrific athlete. He could have played for Barcelona, he was that good. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star. Oh, and you should have heard him play the piano.’

Passenger: ‘Sounds like Archie was something really special.’

Cabbie: ‘There’s more, he had a memory like a computer. Could remember everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out.’

Passenger. ‘Wow, some bloke then?’

Cabbie: ‘He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them.’

Passenger: ‘Mmm, there’s not many like him around.’

Cabbie: ‘And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good and never answer her back — even if she was in the wrong. His clothes were always immaculate… shoes highly polished, too.’

Passenger: ‘Wow! What an amazing bloke. How did you meet him?’

Cabbie: ‘Well, I never actually met Archie.’

Passenger: ‘Then how do you know so much about him?’

Cabbie: ‘I married his flippin’ widow.’

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Categories: Humour

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